Despite biting his tongue for all of two minutes, Tom Beggs (44) has risen to the challenge of pontificating on a subject he knows ‘f’all about’. Now that Sinead O’Connor has embraced Islam, Tom felt confident providing nuanced spiritual advice, asking: ‘Why are you now a terrorist?’
Almost as if she was trying to deliberately provoke him, the Irish singer has changed her name to Shuhada – which is ‘stupid to pronounce’, unlike Sinead. Giving in to his inner Rod Liddle, Mr. Beggs burst into a furious monologue, lambasting her for not consulting him on her life-style choices and her role in 9/11.
Having made a detailed study of the Muslim faith, using pages 4-6 of The Daily Mail, Mr. Beggs concluded that Shuhada was in the thrall of an oppressive patriarchal cult and that she should follow his strict rules instead: ‘How dare she cover her head? Admittedly I was all for covering her head when it was bald, but this is different. This is all Muslimy – which is worse than the Catholics – and their writing is all squiggly. And don’t get me started on what BBC2 did to Top Gear’.
