Remain voter, Frank Wilson, who is about to undergo potentially dangerous surgery to remove a suspect lump has been told the decision is final.
Cavalier oncologists at the Royal London want to remove a “dodgy-looking” growth from Mr Wilson’s spine, with surgery now scheduled for the 29th of March 2019. However, Wilson feels the consequences of surgery haven’t been properly discussed with him and the operation could leave him confined to a wheelchair.
‘Normally when you are about to embark on a drastic course of action, which will have consequences years from now, you have the options carefully explained to you beforehand – especially in a situation as complex as this,’ he told reporters. I feel like a simple Yes to Surgery/No to Surgery doesn’t really cover the bases.’
But snip-happy surgeon, John Goodier, said: ‘Based on Mr Wilson’s’ X-rays, the team of surgeons here took a vote on the best course of action, which we believe is a full, invasive procedure to remove this malign, foreign-looking influence on his spinal cord.’
‘The result was 52-48 in favour of ploughing on ahead regardless of the potential long-term damage it could cause. He really needs to get over it and stop whining.’