Homeless war heroes advised to stay indoors on firework nights

Fireworks

Hours before this weekend’s Guy Fawkes celebrations, and a week before Remembrance Day, one Conservative MP has expressed his deep worry for the mental well-being of all the UK’s shell-shocked war veterans who have chosen a life on the open road.

‘It must be a right old pain in the noggin when you’re trying to bunk down under the Great British stars and some thoughtless twit with more money than sense is making your little patch of Blighty sound more like the front line of a foreign field’, said the passingly concerned Member.

‘Wouldn’t it be bloody marvellous if our brave old boys simply stayed indoors, tucked safely away from all those frightful whizz-bangs? You know, like dogs and Liberal Democrats do’.

However, he then put a positive spin on the challenging situation by pointing out that ‘any hobo ex-hero who looks the part – and isn’t scared stiff of sparklers – might just get lucky and pick up a penny for the Guy’.

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Posted: Nov 4th, 2018 by

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