Scientists confirm clown pubes ‘match’ their hair

clowns

Research has revealed that the one thing scarier than a killer clown, is a huge mass of multi-coloured pubic hair bursting out of your pants. Scientists have spent five years studying the contents of fairground shower plugholes and now vouch that clown ‘collars match their cuffs’ – even the ones with two tufts of hair and a bald section in the middle.

Explained one circus historian: ‘Rodeo clowns have been known to enrage bulls, by flashing their garishly coloured genitals. While Auguste clowns will clumsily pratfall over their own painted knob. Yet, there is nothing more family friendly than a nylon rainbow pube thatch’.

Of course Stephen King immortalized clown genitals in his sequel to ‘It’, called ‘Thingamabob’. In the story, a child becomes trapped in a storm drain with a particularly wiry clump of discarded clown hair – which would later become two-thirds of Boris Johnson.

Some beauticians refuse to wax clowns: ‘When I removed his trousers, all I could see was a soft rubber skin-coloured cap. It was pretty off-putting, as every time I inadvertently touched his privates, they made a honking noise and squirted in my eye’.

 

Hat tip Beau-Jolly

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Posted: Nov 7th, 2018 by

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