President Donald Trump, in what he called a celebration of the friendship between “the two nations that fought side by side at the Alamo”, has offered to help Britain by building the customs border in the Irish Sea it will need after Brexit.
“My people tell me it will cost 10 billion dollars to build – which means five billion, if you know what you’re doing,” he told a press conference consisting only of representatives of Fox News, with all other journalists jostling for position on the White House lawn and trying to read his lips through the press room window.
Asked who will build the wall, he said “Probably Hondurans, I have the best Hondurans, there are 7,000 of them on their way here now, very fine people.”
“Best of all, they can drink from the sea as they work, since everyone knows it’s made of Guinness. And afterwards, I’ll be happy to grant them Scottish citizenship, so they can work on my golf course.”