Theresa May has enlisted the Third Foot and Mouth, the Devils in Skirts, to take up position on the Irish Border after Brexit.
After an emergency meeting of Cobra this morning, the government announced that the extra troops will be brought in from India to stiffen up security at the border.
It is thought that, on the 30th March warlords from the Irish tribes will invade the North, take over the Province, and even try kidnap the daughter of the Khasi of Coleraine.
The Province will be overseen by Sir Jacob Rees-Diamond and his good lady wife, Joan Sims. When asked about what he would do about the impending invasion by the Irish hordes, Sir Jacob replied, “We’re British. We won’t do anything…until it’s too late. That’s what Brexit has been all about from the start.”
When asked if he feared the threat he’d die the death of a thousand cuts, Private Charles Hawtrey replied, “Oh, I don’t know. That’s not as many as cuts as we’ve had from the Tories under Theresa May.”