A dad has dismissed sell-by dates as ‘superstitious nonsense’ after buying his family’s entire weekly shop from the reduced aisle at his local supermarket.
‘There’s absolutely nothing wrong with luncheon meat, macaroni cheese and pineapple chunks that are a day or two past their so-called sell-by date’, insisted Nev Burke, a 43 year-old welder from Hull.
‘Believing in sell-by dates is as irrational as carrying a rabbit’s foot, not walking under a ladder or making travel arrangements using a Southern Rail timetable’, continued Burke.
Mr Burke did admit, however, that there are some dangers involved with purchasing cut-price groceries. ‘There’s only one scientifically proven health risk associated with buying food from the reduced aisle; getting a life-threatening injury from another bargain hunter’, he noted.
‘Unfortunately, these days, prices aren’t the only things getting slashed’, explained the father of two. ‘Basically, thriftiness has become a vicious, cruel blood sport. It’s my generation’s Tinder.;
‘It’s only a matter of time before the ‘unexpected item in the bagging area’ is someone’s vital organs he added.