Theresa May has finally admitted basing Government policy on her favourite television gameshows.
She told a press conference ‘You’ve all already guessed that our Brexit strategy has been a two year long version of Deal or No Deal, but many of my other decisions have been based on quiz shows as well. For example, I think my plan to reduce the size of my Cabinet from 15 to 1 is going very well indeed.’
Mrs May continued ‘We are continuing to Mastermind our Big Break with Europe with the assistance of some of our best loved gameshows, but I feel we have now reached a Tipping Point. I know some people believe that Brexit will have a detrimental effect on their Family Fortunes, and that share prices last week experienced a Million Pound Drop, but I strongly reject any accusations that I am the Weakest Link. I remain confident that we can Strike It Lucky and get this deal agreed by MPs, thus avoiding a Total Wipeout.’
One show the Prime Minister hasn’t been copying however is Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. ‘There’s nothing wrong with the aspiration’ she explained, ‘but I find the idea of ‘ask the audience’ abhorrent, and the possibility of me being able to ‘phone a friend’ is frankly somewhat unlikely at the moment.’ She did accept though that she would snap your hand off for a ‘50-50’ chance remaining in power, before screaming manically ‘I’m the Prime Minister – GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!’