Britain’s TV channels are currently arguing about which of them should show the debate between Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn on Brexit. There have been calls from viewers that if this cannot be resolved satisfactorily, there should be a referendum on it to show what the will of the people is, although lawyers for the TV industry say nobody has worked out what that looks like.
‘I’m dismayed they are taking so long to decide. It’s the only thing about Brexit that hasn’t gone smoothly, said this week’s Brexit secretary, Stephen Barclay. ‘Most of the British people just want to get on with it. I think that’s what I was told to say, anyway.’
The BBC has reportedly demanded to screen the widely anticipated argument between two leaders, neither of whom gave a flying toss during the Brexit referendum itself, because it has licence payers to answer to and wants to put Laura Kuenssberg in the audience to ask searching questions of Corbyn, whoops, sorry, both of them. However, ITV believes it should have first refusal because ‘We currently have fuck all on a Sunday night until I’m a Celebrity starts’.
Dave says it should screen the debate three days afterwards and every Sunday thereafter until Brexit or the end of the world, whichever comes first, and probably will anyway. Meanwhile, the DUP insist on the debate being on Dave’s sister channel Billy and the participants being placed on a circular stage in the form of a square. Boris Johnson has insisted on Winston Churchill leading the Brexit side of the debate and having Bertie Wooster as the adjudicator, but if they are not available he and Jacob Rees-Mogg are ready to step in.
The issue has been further complicated by the need to decide whether there should be a transitional period before, during or after a television debate or a parliamentary vote but not a television debate or before, during or after a television debate and a parliamentary vote but not a referendum or before, during or after a referendum and a television debate but not a parliamentary vote – or not. Calls for third television debate have been dismissed on the grounds that this might leave voters confused. Calls for a possible third referendum however have not been dismissed, just in case the Remainians still don’t get the result they want.
throngsman, apepper and Titus