To garner support for her Brexit plan, Theresa May will resume touring with her fusion of prog-rock and low corporation tax. This will mean reforming her original cabinet, with Amber Rudd on Phillip Hammond’s organ and Boris Johnson banging the racist drum ‘bongo-bongo style’. Initially the tour will focus on smaller venues, but post-Brexit will build up to huge arena-size venues – or ‘empty food warehouses’ as they will be known.
May’s last tour, ‘Maybot 2017′, featured such classics as ‘Crazy Little Thing Called Austerity’, ‘Migrant Homesick Blues’ and ‘Money for Nothing – My Husband’s Tax Returns’.
While Mrs May has downplayed the significance of the gigs, 80% of the public insist that this is her ‘Farewell Tour, even if she is the last to know. Booking agencies have confirmed a flurry of interest, but only in Irish passports.