Officials were left red-faced this week after a dog with an engorged penis was stationed on the line dividing Northern Ireland from the Republic of Ireland. There have been ongoing discussions about whether there should be a soft border or hard border between the two entities and a hard border was favoured but there is confusion as to how a hard border became enacted in this way.
Labour MPs demanded to know why it couldn’t be a Border Terrier instead but Goverment officials insisted the EU text related to Brexit negotiations mentioned a Border Collie. It is unclear how such a translation outcome occurred but some experts are placing the blame on Nigel Farage, who does not support the proposed Brexit deal. It is believed he also owns a Border Collie, further stoking suspicion.
The Border Collie is being ‘attended’ to by an unfortunate intern with some mayonnaise and a sock.