Toast continues to distance itself from Theresa May

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Toast has repeated its displeasure at being compared to the Prime Minister. Mrs May has put what many have called a ‘Marmite’ deal on the table, and continues to behave as if butter wouldn’t melt, despite the heat around her. Nevertheless, the grilled bread staple has made it clear it wants no part in being seen as a by word for crumbling values and the threat of imminent disaster.

‘Once again, we have found ourselves forced to defend our image as a healthy, easy to make snack rather than a metaphor for abject failure and destruction’ a piece of toast said at a pop-up press conference. ‘Toast isn’t always burning. Sometimes it falls butter side up. We also object to racial stereotypes linked to us by Tommy Robinson’s Marmalade. There is white toast and brown toast and they can live happily side by side. We hate to see toast being put on the rack like this.’

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2018 by

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