In a last minute fevered negotiations the entire Brexit debate has been resolved. The EU has renamed itself “The European Community”, therefore the 1975 membership referendum can be invoked and Britain will now remain a full member in keeping with the wishes of those who voted at that time.
‘It turned out to be the simplest solution, although it does mean changing the headed notepaper,’ said EC President Donald Tusk. ‘People obviously didn’t mind being in the EC but hated being in the EU, well it’s only one letter so no one’s going to lose any sleep over that.’
Boris Johnson who has been vilified for dishonest claims during the now entirely irrelevant 2016 referendum campaign welcomed the solution: ‘For many years I’ve embraced/hated the EU but always liked the EC, so this is such a good solution for Britain and by Britain, I of course mean me, as after a few weeks I will stop getting the blame for this whole bloody Brexit balls-up.’