Members of Britain’s Most Embarrassing Country Contest team have expressed their disappointment at only coming third, with ‘Brexit, What a Shambles’ despite many insiders suggesting it was the best chance of victory since our winning ‘Suez Crisis’ entry in 1956.
The coveted prize which is awarded every four years to acknowledge spectacular political incompetence, was presented to Donald Trump at a ceremony in Geneva last night.
Disappointed Captain Theresa May said: ‘We pulled out all the stops this time around, fielding a fantastic team but still well fell short.’
‘In Boris we had perhaps the world’s most embarrassing politician. His ludicrous matrimonial arrangements, his dog-whistle racist comments. Reciting Kipling in that temple in Myanmar was a stroke of genius.’
‘And how the judges could ignore Jacob just beggars belief. Apart from his constant Gussie Fink-Nottle impersonations, precipitating a leadership crisis in the middle our already tremendous Brexit Shambles was a masterstroke and should’ve seen us crowned winners.’
Pausing only to acknowledge the pound plummeting on world markets a forlorn and resigned Mrs May added. “We knew the Americans would win as, dare I say it, they had the Trump card, but I really think Sir Terry Wogan had it right in these matters. The rest of the world just hates us.’