Britain reels from non-disastrous day

May Boris

Britain has been shaken to its core by experiencing a day without some kind of self-inflicted disaster. News is still sketchy but one government minister was quoted as saying: ‘This is new territory. For years now, each day has been one easily avoided catastrophe after another but after a routine day; the DUP making a Brexit settlement impossible, a vote of no-confidence in the prime-minister, the pound collapsing – the usual stuff – we’ve suddenly been hit by a day where nothing has gone wrong.’

Other MPs have been seen trying to set fire to their office. Boris Johnson said he was “furious” that ridiculous EU health and safety rules made it impossible for him to bring in two Jerry cans of petrol. ‘I want a new office, it’s as simple as that, so the obvious way to get that is to burn down my current office then other offices will fall over themselves to make a deal. I’ll be meeting representatives later today in my… Oh cripes!’

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2018 by

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