Lonely woman rescued from dinghy heading away from Dover


A lonely woman has been rescued from a dinghy in the English Channel, unusually heading away from Britain.

The woman, who would only answer to the name Theresa, was rescued off the coast of Dover at 4am on Saturday. A spokesperson for the Foreign Office said: “The Border Force was contacted by maritime colleagues early on Saturday 16 December. A Border Force cutter and an RNLI lifeboat were deployed to assist the dinghy, and they were surprised to find just one middle-aged, grey-haired woman frantically rowing away from Dover”.

According to the BBC, at least 135 migrants have entered British waters since November 3, but as far as the Border Force is aware, this is the first record of a well-dressed middle-aged woman, wearing designer shoes, trying to leave Britain by dinghy under the cover of darkness.

“The woman was showing early signs of hypothermia as a result of being out in the cold for so long, but otherwise she was physically robust, but my staff were very concerned for her mental health,” said a Border Force officer. “She was uttering, ‘when will this ever end? Why can’t they listen to me? My deal is the best deal possible. Nebulous? I’m not nebulous. I told them, again and again, and still they hate me…’”

When Border Force offices offered to bring the woman back to the UK, she seemed increasingly stressed and anxious. “No, no, no”, she said, “Leave means leave, I must leave, I must leave. Let me be clear. No deal for is better than a bad deal I’m a bloody difficult woman. My boat is strong and stable, let me go. They said we have to leave, they all hate me, they hate me… must leave, must leave, repeat mode, malfunction, malfunction, malfunction…”

Hat tip to Titus

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Posted: Dec 17th, 2018 by

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