Staff at the Department for Exiting the EU are reported to be hungry and irritable as the staff member sent to Tesco to get lunch still hasn’t returned after three months, being embroiled in complex negotiations with the automated checkout.
“It’s simply an unreasonable price to charge for a few sandwiches and pasta salads,” said Toby Vandeleur. “The British people will not be bullied in this way.”
“The machine should be in no doubt that we’re prepared to walk away with no deal, and try the Sainsburys up the road.”
Staff have tried to explain to Vandeleur that the machine isn’t empowered to negotiate and you simply have to pay the quoted price, which he dismissed as “defeatist talk”. He also complained that the British rebate wasn’t being applied, which confused them until they realised he was talking about the meal deal when you buy some crisps and a drink as well.
In the end, a compromise was reached whereby Vandeleur fed all his money into the machine but walked away without any food, with both sides proclaiming victory.