“For ages self-identifying as 8-80!! It’s political correctness gone mad for all the family!!” claim the adverts for the board game from Hersbro which has tapped into the zeitgeist and seen sales take off in a trajectory described as quite steep but not so steep as to induce stress in the acrophobic.
Game designer River Goodmxn explained “Many traditional board games come across as discriminatory and aggressive. The very name of Go for example is an abrupt command that evokes the macho, directive style of the cisnormative patriarchy. It also insults the mobility otherwise-abled who do not feel empowered to simply Go, and women from conservative religions who require written permission from a close male family member to do so. We wanted to design a game avoiding terms which might cause particular anxiety to players born around the millennium, and where all positions on the continuua of gender, race, spirituality, diet, sexuality, age and appearance are represented in a non-judgmental and egalitarian manner.”
Initial attempts to follow the usual Top Trumps points system were not successful. A focus group reached a state of medically critical angst over whether the holder of a Genderqueer Pansexual Jew card should trump the holder of a Paraplegic Cis Shia card or be hurled from the top of a tall building.
“We changed the rules so that every feature on every card is worth 10 points” continued Mx Goodmxn, “Admittedly there is no way now of actually finishing a game, but more importantly it removes the stress of winning or losing. On reaching the point of exhaustion, everyone comes in joint nth and gets a round of jazz hands for participating.”
The interview closed with a seasonal Top Trumps greeting from enthusiast Tiny Tim, clinking his calipers in delight; “A Merry Christmas to us all! Allahu akbar, big boy, and call me Tiny Tina!”