A new study has confirmed that poor seed regulation is at the heart of the divide in the UK that has opened up over the last couple of years. ‘There’s no doubt that the country became polarised over Brexit two years ago,’ said a researcher into the Brexit vote. ‘Some were clearly incensed over the increasing power of the EU political classes, many were concerned about immigration from the EU, Middle East and Africa, a mutual hatred of Cameron was a factor but in the main it was the appalling seed regulations that tipped most people over the edge,’ he added today.
‘On the other side of the coin, many voters didn’t give a shit about seed regulations and thought it wasn’t worth spending billions to leave, political meltdown as a result and running the risk of tipping the UK back into the seventies. Then again, others just didn’t give a shit at all, so didn’t vote,’ he said.
The government has promised to uphold democracy and leave the EU ‘as soon as possible, definitely before 2135, and make seed regulation the first legislation to amend on the statute book.’ It’s not clear what the new seed regulations will look like once they’ve been debated through Parliament, however one MP admitted that ‘we’ll probably just follow what the EU do, it’s much easier than thinking for ourselves. But at least we have control instead of following Brussels slavishly, nobody is making us do it now.’
Ms Whitney Ibble, a proud Brexiteer and Daily Mail reader, echoed the will of the British people when she said: “Finally we’ve put a stop to those unelected eurocrats who want to put their greasy garlic seeds all over our Great British burger buns. Our country was built on our fathers’ seed, and we didn’t fight two world wars just to let Johnny Foreigner come over here and plough his seed into my furrow.”
A Defra spokesperson said -“Well, the seed industry of the UK are tired of the tyranny of experts. We shall definitely be relaxing rules around germination efficiency, pathogen risk, and passenger invasive species. It’s time.”
Hat tips to Al Opecia, Crayon, Sinnick, Riesler and, of course MzWibble