Publicists for the celebratory pair were pleased to announce the couple’s imminent nuptials, quickly followed by a flurry of lucrative media interest and to culminate in the inevitable break-up. The divorce ceremony will be carried out via fax and through a host of lawyers; with their agents asking that the press respect their need for ‘a lack of privacy’ at that time.
The couple’s publicist remarked: ‘The marriage will be an intimate affair and the subsequent divorce will be based on an intimate affair as well. As yet no decision has been made as to whether Miley or Liam will have been unfaithful – it all depends on who has a film or album to promote that month’.
The couple said they were ‘excited’ by the prospect of getting divorced and hoped that they could be joined by their friends and family, in a series of kiss-and-tell articles. Likewise, their commitment to not committing will lead to many happy years together – with Jimmy Fallon on the chat-show circuit.
One fan said: ‘I think they’re such a cute couple, which is why I can’t wait for them to crash and burn. It’ll be great to read about their lurid sex lives, their battles with addiction and how one or both of them is now dating Jennifer Aniston. I’m not saying all celebratory marriages are doomed, just the ones that are not covering up their true sexuality’.