A subway leading to an upper school is in use again after having all the graffiti removed and being painted a colour best described as ‘found at the back of the shed, leftover from 1967, orange’.
On the first day of being repainted, a strange phenomenon occurred in which students found they could not enter the subway. What appeared to be an invisible force field prevented them from using the tunnel. An expert from the local education authority was consulted and it was discovered that there is an ancient, immutable natural law stating that all subways leading to a school must have at least two representations of male private parts and the word slag etched on them to be operational.
At an emergency meeting of the PTA Mr Humphries (Geography) found a can of silver paint in the back of his Rover 400, managed to reach just his arm into the force field by threatening it with detention for a month of Sundays and spray painted a cock at each end of the subway and the word “Slag” at the end furthest from the school. Mr Harris (Woodwork) nudged Miss Smith (English) and whispered “Why is he writing about his Mum?” Miss Smith sighed and explained feminism for the umpteenth time that week.
The PTA successfully travelled through the subway once the modifications had been made. Miss Smith proposed adding the text “Mr Harris is a dipstick” to be on the safe side but was over ruled by the committee who felt that no-one says dipstick any more.