The Gabonese government has managed to avoid open rebellion by having offering a second Brexit referendum. This follows five soldiers taking control of the national radio station, demanding an end to the presidency of Omar Bongo, no more straight bananas and £350million extra a week for the NHS.
Despite it being 3,500 miles from Brussels, 48% of Gabon are strongly in favour of a European customs union, while 52% back malaria, intestinal worms and 17% infant mortality. Sleeping sickness is particularly prevalent among those having to listen to Chuka Umunna.
Tony Blair has demanded a second referendum, although this is not the first time an African republic has fallen under the spell of a known war-criminal. Said one Gabonese voter: ‘The recent coup in Zimbabwe showed us you can easily get rid of a corrupt Prime Minister – unless of course you are the 1922 Committee.’