This surely must be the last day that you can credibly wish work colleagues a Happy New Year, everyone has asked. The request for clarification comes after unseasonably high reported levels of ‘best wishes for 2019′ being heard near photocopiers and water cooler towards the arse end of the second week of January.
‘Asking me what I did over Christmas on 11th January – you might as well ask me to recall the rules of trigonometry from my first year maths class at secondary school,’ said Dave McBride from Glasgow to no-one on particular. ‘Yes, I had a good one, New Year is always a let down. Yes, it does all go too quickly, and no, I can’t agree it is great to be back.’
Current UK legislation requires that the first interaction between work colleagues in a new year must involve a slightly forced exchange about the festive period, with at least one reference to Quality Street or sprouts, unless this occurs after August, in which case the chat must involve throwaway comments about the nights starting to draw in soon and whether each has started their Christmas shopping yet.