Theresa May finally unites a nation


Left/Right wing, Young/Old, Mammal/Lesser-spotted toad – all have joined together to flip the Prime Minister the two-fingered salute. Natural enemies have put aside their differences and with one resounding voice, have told Theresa May to ‘eff off’. The nation is finally united behind a vision of Mrs May with pie on her face.

Many said it could not be done – Tories and Labour MPs living in harmony, patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time, goats and badgers making sweet love to one another – but somehow Mrs May’s failed Brexit plan has put the United back into Kingdom, the Great back into Britain and the meat back into a Gregg’s sausage roll.

Over the last one hundred years there have been very few consensus issues; other than defeating Fascism, rejecting the mullet and agreeing that James Corden needs a slap. Too often we are split over the colour of a dress or whether it is ‘scone or scone’.

What we can agree on is that Theresa May is an unmitigated disaster; partly as a Prime Minister but mainly as a contemporary dancer. Her only success, until now, has been running through a field of wheat – but that was to scare the crows off. Yet finally she has given us the Brexit we want, one with her looking cheesed-off at the end of it.

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2019 by

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