There’s discussion of equal opportunities in the pineapple world today, with SpokesPineapple Vanessa Araya, originally from Costa Rica, saying: ‘If you’re a cooking apple or a stick of rhubarb or a cute little blackberry you get warmed under a flour, butter and sugar topping. Sometimes you get to go under a layer of custard or even ice cream and you get appreciated but not us pineapples, oh no’.
‘It’ll probably only get worse after Brexit, which I’ve noticed is people’s very favourite thing to say at the moment. I was going to the USA to try to sneak into a cobbler, which I’m reliably informed by an apricot of my acquaintance is the same thing as a crumble, however there are rumours that Trump is building a wall of sponge fingers in the pantry to keep out the exotic fruits. I might have to go back to the seventies and try and get a job in a pineapple upside down cake’.