Following the abysmal failure of the government to get its deal accepted and its even greater failure to ditch the poisoned chalice named Brexit, the Prime Minister has indicated she will reach out across Party lines to find a way forward. ‘I don’t mind talking to Vince Cable about ideas,’ she admitted, ‘after all he did a jolly good deal for my husband’s friends when he sold the Post Office,’ she said, ‘but I’m not sure I’m ready to engage face to face with Jeremy.’
In an attempt at concession Mrs May has considered setting up a WhatsApp group for the leaders of the main political parties, but says it sounds too informal. ‘If he’s got a Facebook profile I might consider friending him,’ she said, noting that it’s relatively easy to unfriend when necessary. ‘I notice he’s on Tinder,’ she said, feeling an instinct to swipe right on ideological grounds, noting that most people swiped left. ‘Some people can’t leave politics at home,’ she added.