Britain’s increasingly uptight Brexiteers are calling on the government to hurry up and finally organise the piss-up in a brewery that they voted for over two-and-a-half years ago.
However, many of their fellow Brexiteers insist that they voted for a piss-up in a pottery, while others are absolutely certain that they voted for a piss-up in a gallery – or a carvery if they can personally choose which one. Various other Brexiteers are equally adamant that the only venue they will ever accept is either a cattery, a piggery, an orrery, a shrubbery, or a nunnery.
Another division of Brexiteers say that they voted for a piss-up in a monastery, which at least has the possibility of being a place where beer is brewed. Sadly, they are refusing to admit that no such venue exists in the UK.
Amid unhelpful suggestions that another referendum is needed to confirm the exact location of the piss-up, many Brexiteers fear that Britain may no longer be in the mood for a piss-up at all, and would actually prefer a good meal – perhaps pasta, or maybe paella – with a nice bottle of wine, or two.
Meanwhile, one prominent Brexit-supporting politician claims that the British people clearly voted for a piss-up in an aviary, and is now spitting feathers while holding an empty glass to prove it.