Citizens of countries around the globe have been asked to vote in a Eurovision-style event to determine which country is the world’s biggest laughing stock at present. Early results seem to indicate The UK and US have both tied at first place, beating several despotic, undemocratic and Trump-designated “shithole countries”.
The championships were organised by the UN, in a rare instance of acting on time, before the issues of Brexit and the US-Mexico Border Wall had been forgotten for decades.
Interviews were carried out with citizens from countries which were prime scapegoats in the decision of Brits to vote Leave and the decision of Americans to elect a xenophobic man-child. ‘I don’t even want to go to the UK. Our economy in Poland is doing much better than the UK’s, and if Brexit happens, I hear the Brits won’t even have basic medical supplies and food, so of course I wouldn’t want to live there now,’ said Szymon Kowalski, 35, from Warsaw.
Similarly, Paloma García Fernández, 21, from Guadalajara, commented: ‘It’s quite ironic that descendants of white Europeans are telling descendants of indigenous peoples of the Americas not to cross man-made borders on our own continent. But then, I guess politicians are famous for unintentional irony. I’m a student and wouldn’t want to go to the US where I hear university fees are sky-high. Indeed, the UK’s university fees are now even higher than those of the US, with university fees being a criterion in judging the stupidity of countries.’
Regarding Donald Trump and Boris Johnson, scientists will now research the link between disheveled, yellow hair and political shamelessness.
Asked about the results of being joint-first in the World Stupidity Championship, a UK political representative said: ‘The next time Europeans laugh at us for never winning Eurovision, we can have the last laugh because we won a global competition, never mind European.’