NewsBiscuit has been leaked a draft copy of the 2nd EU Referendum ballot paper should one go ahead.
2nd EU Referendum Ballot paper
Please number your preference in order, with ‘1’ as your first choice etc.
– Leave totally and immediately, slamming the door behind us, and let them whistle for any money from us
– Leave swiftly and totally, but politely, and close the door gently
– Leave slowly and slink out when there’s no-one watching
– Shuffle towards the door and decide when you get there – eventually – whether you actually want to go or not
– Leave just a tiny, weeny little bit
– Enter the doorway but stand there on the threshold with the door left open, letting in a draft and pissing everyone off
– Go out and then come back in again
– Go out and come back in again repeatedly
– Ignore the door, look the other way, pretend there is no door and tell everyone how much you like being inside
– What door?
– Have another referendum
– Have another referendum, eventually
– Have another referendum, immediately
– Have a succession of further referendums
– Have a succession of further referendums at regular intervals
– Have a succession of further referendums at random intervals
– Some of the above
– All of the above
– None of the above
– Any other ideas and suggestions: please write out (in as much or as little detail as you choose) any other ideas thoughts / suggestions / preferences you may have. Additional sheets / boxes of paper are available on request.
Please note the result of this referendum will be announced as soon as each each and every ballot paper has been read, scrutinised, verified, analysed, categorised, mulled over, considered and re-considered.
Health Warning: While awaiting the announcement of any result, voters suffering ill-health or with limited lung capacity are strongly advised not to hold their breath.