Trump’s wall threatens US with unprecedented drugs price increases

Trump Wall

Congress today blocked President’s Trump’s funding for a wall on the US southern border, on economic grounds.

‘An alleged major benefit of the wall will be to reduce the volume of drugs crossing the border by half,’ said a Congress spokeswoman. ‘But our analysts predict that this could double the street prices of cocaine in our towns and cities.’

‘Such a price rise would add to the intolerable suffering currently experienced by hundreds of thousands of US government workers, who have already endured weeks without pay, and many of whom have been forced to take part-time courier jobs in the drugs trade in order to pay their household bills.’

The National Rifle Association (NRA) has also pointed out that US arms manufacturers depend heavily on sales to Latin-American drugs cartels, and that a land barrier across the US-Mexico border would increase distribution costs significantly. ‘Any increase in export costs would provide a competitive opening for East European arms manufacturers,’ said an NRA lobbyist. ‘It’s feasible that the Russian-designed AK-47 would replace the all-American AR-15 as the weapon of choice, both in Latin American gang warfare and in US school shootings, in which case it could take the US arms manufacturing industry decades to regain its dominant market share.’

General Donald Corleone of the US Army Logistics Branch also pointed out that any restriction in the availability of hard drugs currently enjoyed by US military personnel could adversely affect the willingness of brave American soldiers to engage in the upcoming land war with North Korea.

President Trump has yet to tweet in response.

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2019 by

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