Brexit solved by man in pub shouting “why don’t they just sort it out”


All the sticking points in the Brexit deal, including what was thought to be intractable, the Northern Ireland border issue, have been resolved after a man in a pub shouted ‘why don’t they just sort it out’ in a loud enough voice.

‘It wasn’t that hard.’, explains Gary Dingle from Clacton modestly. ‘A group of us were talking about the deal, how everyone hated everything about leaving, apart from the leaving bit, obviously. I hadn’t said anything much after someone said, “Er, doesn’t the Good Friday agreement mean we’ve got to compromise on the border?”

‘Well I’d had enough at that point and shouted, “Why don’t they just sort it out.” Everyone went quiet and I could tell they were impressed by the way they immediately rolled their eyes and went home, presumably to tell their friends and family how I’d solved Brexit.’

It’s understood that following word of Mr Dingle’s success spreading online, he was then contacted by Professor Brian Cox. The former D Ream Keysman and now full-on brainbox explained, as best he could, to Mr Dingle that there was an unresolved conflict between macro physics and the quantum world that had defeated the best physicists – including Einstein – for nearly a hundred years. However, when Mr Dingle interrupted the professor and shouted ‘Why don’t they just sort it out.’ The problem was solved.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2019 by

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