Greggs the baker has said that food preparation procedures will be reviewed after vegan sausage rolls were accidentally sold as meat ones.
Piers Morgan, who has pretended to be a Greggs customer for many years, explained his upset. ‘Well, what with me being a close personal friend of President Trump and as soon as I heard about Greggs launching a vegan sausage roll, I immediately tweeted about it and got an Uber to the nearest Greggs to buy a proper sausage roll – one made from pig parts”
‘Can you imagine how I felt when I found out I hadn’t eaten something steamed off a pig’s head, but was actually made from soya? I’m particularly annoyed because when I loudly explained my disgust at vegan sausage rolls and asked the ingredients of the one I had bought, I distinctly heard someone tell me it was penis and head. God know what my good friend President Trump will make of that when I tell him.’