To Whom It May Concern,
I am writing to apologise for my part in the recent unfortunate car accident/appalling racial slur* and for any death/injury/offence* that you may have suffered as a result of my reckless driving/outdated colonial attitudes* and to assure you that it may or may not happen again (*delete as appropriate).
As the husband of the head of state, it has long been my belief that I am entitled to behave as I like and outwith the social norms that apply to the taxpaying sycophantic drones wonderful people of this great country. However, I have been advised by the public relation bods here the palace that it would look good if I should pretend that this is not the case.
As a small act of contrition, I would like to personally invite you to visit Sandringham Castle at a time when the Queen and I will not be in residence. You will find the opening times and entry fees in the enclosed pamphlet.
I hope that you have a speedy recovery/Rest in Peace/seek counselling* as necessary (*delete as appropriate).
Philip (Duke of somewhere up north)
PS. If I caused you injury or death due to my reckless driving and also made a racially insensitive remark following the crash you will not receive a separate letter of apology, my heartfelt apologies for both incidents are implied in this letter.