Reality TV star, Joey Essex, has been approached by Theresa May and asked to use his common sense no-nonsense approach to mediate between warring Brexiteers and Remainers, with the ultimate goal of coming up with a workable plan she can take to Europe.
There was support for the popular simpleton from an unlikely quarter in the form of Boris Johnson who commented: ‘Mr Essex represents the view of the man on the Clapham Omnibus, and the diplomatic world ignores his homespun wisdom at its peril. Indeed should he succeed in this endeavour then I would urge Mrs May to consider bringing him into government, maybe as Tsar for the Common Man.’
‘It would be an excellent strategy considering the success of our last gimmicky appointment, Mary Portas, whom you may recall was engaged by Mr Cameron to save the nation’s ailing high streets. And as Mr Essex might say – she smashed that right out of the park!’