Emergency legislation is to be rushed through parliament that will make it a criminal offence, punishable by a term of up to six months imprisonment, for TV Chefs who feature items on their programmes in which a whole head of cauliflower is roasted as the centerpiece of a meal.
The move is in response to thousands of complaints from viewers that in recent months TV cooking shows have featured this dish with monotonous regularity.
Keen home chef and cooking show fan Steve Wallace said: ‘It was ridiculous. I watched BBC live one Saturday and didn’t fancy the recipe they did so when I watched James Martin later and he did it as well I was completely gobsmacked. I had people coming round for a dinner party that night too. In the end I was stuck for an idea of what to cook so I had to get an Indian takeaway instead. It made me look lazy.’
A government spokesman commented: ‘Before anyone gets the wrong idea this is not the beginning of a backlash against militant vegetarianism or persecuting anyone for their values. It’s not the cauliflower in itself that is the problem. It’s the smug middle-class trendiness of the recipe we’re targeting!’