Dyson and Martin’s Laugh-in

Dyson Martin

Entrepreneurs and ardent Brexiteers, James Dyson and Tim Martin, have announced a tour of small theatres where they will perform their recently penned sketch show Irony. Tickets cost £25 and are available via electronic bank transfer paid into an offshore account.

Comprising a series of comedy skits to illustrate the importance of carrying out ‘the will of the people’, in one sketch Dyson plays a billionaire businessman who decides to relocate his company headquarters to Singapore and tries to pass it off as a positive benefit to both the media, and the Exchequer.

Not to be outdone, Martin performs a solo piece where, reliant upon the total suspension of audience disbelief, he plays a character adored by the nation due to his altruistic and philanthropic vision for the equal redistribution of wealth to everyone in the country.

Sitting in one of Martin’s JD Wetherspoon hostelries sipping a pint of Bishop O’Mahony’s Wrinkled Old Todger and sharing a five quid curry, Dyson commented,’It’s vital that Mrs May pushes Brexit through as it is now critical for businesses both operating and registered in the U… err… erm… wouldn’t you agree, Tim?’

‘For sure, James,’ said Martin.’You know that’s why I had half a million beer mats printed with The Wetherspoon Manifesto. Of course that was to push an in-no-way-selfish agenda, enabling me to become even wealthier than I am currently.’

Chipchase (hat tip to Sir Lupus)

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Posted: Feb 4th, 2019 by

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