Queen plans emergency bowel evacuation in no deal emergency.

the queen

Buckingham Palace insiders are investigating a scenario in which the Queen shits herself if her government unexpectedly fails to avoid a no deal Brexit. Palace officials have not made it clear whether the royal bowel-evacuation would indicate a gesture of protest or an ability to take back control, and constitutional experts are investigating the Queen’s relationship to ‘the throne’ if such an evacuation took place.

‘Obviously we cannot go into detail about the plans for the evacuation or say where or when it might take place,’ said one lady in waiting. ‘Nutritionists have advised that towards the end of March, to head off a surprise evacuation, Her Majesty should introduce more hard-boiled eggs into her diet, even if that means keeping the windows open in Balmoral, Sandringham or Windsor. Probably all three.’

Some observers think the evacuation is related to the prospect of the Queen having to rule in the light of a total failure of her elected officials in parliament. One Palace source commented ‘If she has to run the country the day after Brexit, having spent 50 years launching ships and opening maternity wings she has every reason to be shitting herself royally.’

hat tip to Crayon

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Posted: Feb 5th, 2019 by

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