Idris Elba admits to ‘wanting to cut up a Ginger’

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In an interview yesterday with Entertainment yesterday, Idris Elba revealed that, about ten years ago, he was overtaken in a Tesco 10 items or less till queue by a man with red hair and 11 items and that, for a good whole week afterwards, he walked around the streets of London hoping to find a “carrot-top” and “carve him up real good!”

Elba did admit that such attitudes were retrograde in these current days of diversity and equality but he did also reveal that he was glad that he didn’t end up finding a “rusty highlander” and that his anger eventually subsided. Elba did admit though that it was probably hard for him to find a “freckled lobster” to slash because most “copper nobs” didn’t come out in the daylight and many of the pubs, at the time, wouldn’t serve them after 8pm.

Since Elba’s interview, representatives from Cherry Yetis (an umbrella support group for red-haired people) have been asking for Elba’s name to be removed from any prospective list of future James Bond movies and that, at least, the next Bond villain should be a “wotsit head”.

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Posted: Feb 6th, 2019 by

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