Riverdance is only acceptable form of border, say Irish


There’s been a breakthrough in talks over what kind of border might exist between Northern Ireland and the Republic after Brexit, with Taoiseach Leo Varadkar’s suggestion that a line of Irish dancers continuously performing Riverdance might be acceptable to all sides.

“Well sure and begorrah, it isn’t that we want a border, to be sure,” he told reporters, leaping joyfully into the air to click his heels together. “But if there’s going to be one, then bejaysus let’s make it a cheerful one.”

Consisting of dancers from both north and south, it’s thought participation in this endeavour might even help bring the two communities together. There would also be traditional musicians to provide a non-stop accompaniment of jigs and reels, of which there are potentially hundreds (though it’s thought they could probably play the same half dozen over and over without anyone noticing).

“I truly think this could be a step towards a lasting peace,” Varadkar concluded. “It will serve to remind all Irish people whether north or south, Protestant or Catholic, about the one thing we can all agree on – how much we hate that fecker Michael Flatley.”

STOP PRESS – Violence has broken out amongst the dancers in a dispute about whether they prefer Riverdance or Flatley’s later work in Lord of the Dance. There’s just no helping some people.

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2019 by

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