Philip gives up driving license – Queen admits “We’ll miss the Uber money”


Prince Philip has voluntarily given up his driving license following his recent accident. The Queen confirmed that Philip would no longer drive and that they’d have to make some adjustments in their lifestyle as they’d no longer be receiving a weekly £100 a week from his side hustle as an Uber driver.

“Taxi driver was his ideal job.”, said a glum faced (ie normal faced) Queen. “He had plenty of right-wing opinions, a free car and, best of all, a driving offence exemption card.”

The Royals suffered a further blow late last week, when councils announced that thousands of rural bus services were under threat, raising questions as to how this elderly rural couple would get their shopping. “No we won’t be using bloody Ocado” remarked the Queen. “I’ll drive or, if needs must, we’ll just buy our own bus service. Not many problems that can’t be solved by throwing shedloads of cash at them, as my dear old mum used to say.”

Hat-Tip Sir Lupus

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Posted: Feb 11th, 2019 by

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