According to a royal insider, Prince Philip (97) has given up his driving licence simply to make some room in his wallet for several other much more exciting licences, such as pilot, speedboat, jet pack, and import-export.
Apparently, the Duke intends to use his newly issued licences on a mission for wife and country that will save Britain’s sovereignty from the clutches of a continental gang of shady bureaucratic extortionists who are known only to those in the know as ‘The Unelected’.
This news follows rumours that Prince Philip’s recent road accident occurred during special training, and he was not actually inside his Land Rover at the time of the crash, having already exited half-a-second earlier via an ejector seat. It is understood that the seat was personally fitted by the Queen herself, whom the Duke refers to only as ‘Q’.
However, our source says that Prince Philip has also given up his free TV licence now that the BBC’s Top Gear programme no longer features entitled bigots regularly wrecking expensive vehicles.