Shocking new statistics suggest at least 0.000001% of the population are still under the impression that Chris Grayling can actually do a job. Alarming feedback, indicates that some voters would still trust the beleaguered Secretary of State with shoelaces, potty training or brushing his own teeth.
Commented one advisor: ‘Wasting £1m on a ferry firm without ferries, is one thing. Failing to even commission a fictitious ferry firm, now that’s peak Grayling’. In fact, ‘Failing Grayling’ is so associated fiascos that most assume he is responsible for filling the Hindenburg with hydrogen or Jennifer Aniston’s love life.
There is the adage that many are promoted to one’s level of incompetence, but for Mr. Grayling ‘walking erect’ was probably a job too far. Not only would he be out of his depth in a kiddies’ paddle pool, Mr. Grayling is spectacularly unsuited to hold high office or even hold a grown-ups hand, while crossing the road.
Mr. Grayling is the first Minister who is not permitted to play unsupervised or have a friend round for a sleep-over. Such is his ‘success deficiency’ that even Brexit is embarrassed to be caught standing next to him.