Chris Grayling awards satire website contract for £50 Million

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Having saved the taxpayer a fortune by spotting the flaw in the Seaborne Freight bid, Chris Grayling has decided to intervene in the burgeoning satire industry that should be overseen by the Minister of Sports and Meeja Jeremy Wright but isn’t as nobody knows who he is despite being in charge since July last year.

‘We’re seeing satire website after satire website being mopped up by foreign investors – The Mash, The Harold and the Mail Online have all been scooped up for an eye watering £31.52 and now speculators are manoeuvring to take over veteran satire website Newsbiscuit. Newsbiscuit can’t be allowed to be bought by overseas investors this close to Brexit because the staff and contributors seem to understand what is happening on all sides much better than anyone in Government. Anyone at all, period.

‘So we’re beating the current leading bid of £23.40 by offering £50 Million. If they want to pay hardball then I guess we’ll have to up the offer. That’s the problem when the company you’re trying to nationalise knows the news before it happens,’ he said today.

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Posted: Feb 15th, 2019 by

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