A couple who used to do really cool romantic stuff on Valentine’s Day in the early stages of their relationship, have admitted they did ‘fuck all’ last night. This seems to back up relationship experts’ theories that the much hyped day of love is really just a ‘bunch of arse’.
All over the UK thousands of other people reported minimal, substandard or downright lazy efforts from their partners, who once used to dig deep for fancy dinners, over-priced roses and elaborate atmospheric bedroom-sex set-ups with flower petals and scented candles. Thousands of other couples say they just got a bit pissed, had a bit of a half-hearted fumble and fell asleep in front of the telly.
There was also a reported 80% increase in singletons falsely claiming the day was over-rated and didn’t really mean anything to them. One man who has been single for 6 consecutive Valentine’s Days bravely attempted to claim that he felt no more sad, desperate or lonely last night then he did on other day: ‘Love – who needs it? Only Connect’s on telly tonight!’