Over-aged schoolboy ‘wants to return to Remain camp’

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Boris Johnson, in an exclusive interview with “The Oldie”, has revealed that he wishes to return to the Remain camp, in order to have his career back.

“I knew what I was doing when I opted to lead the Leave campaign at the last minute, and I don’t regret that, but now I want to return to the Remain camp, and promote revoking Article 50 and forget that it ever happened. I was never a true beLeaver, just a daydream beLeaver?

“I was behaving like a silly 15 year old back then and I’m more sensible now’, Johnson continued. “Whoo, look that the pins on that filly.”

Asked if he had seen any atrocities whilst in the Leave Caliphate, he was surprisingly candid “yes, on numerous occasions I saw Government Bills being defeated, and waste bins full of shredded order papers. It didn’t faze me”.

When questioned as to if his two friends who left for the Leave Caliphate with him, Liam Fox and Michael Gove, were still alive he said “yes, I saw Michael in El Vino’s two weeks ago, but nothing comprehensible has emerged from Fox’s mouth for over a year now, although I was delighted to see that supplies of cruelly murdered whale meat from the Faroe Islands have been secured”.

Upon hearing the news of Johnson’s desire to return, PM May was reported to have said “I’ll be seeking an alternative outcome”.

Hat-tips apepper and Crayon

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Posted: Feb 15th, 2019 by

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