Trust no one who cannot understand the ‘reply all’ function


Just as businesses around the UK are adjusting to the ramifications of GDPR, ‘Archie from accounts’ has just forwarded everyone the last two years’ worth of confidential invoices; along with proof positive that the CEO has been deducting underwear for his PA, as a legitimate expense. The inability to master basic email protocol, means that everyone now knows that your employer is flirting with bankruptcy, nobody likes the new Security Guard and that Rachel in HR is ‘out of post-its’.

Protected health information is one mis-click away from becoming everyone’s topic of conversation; from Gustav’s haemorrhoid, Sacha’s drinking problem or to Maggie transitioning into Dave. No credit card or security number is safe from an overly enthusiastic office worker, who cannot tell the difference between the send button and the nuclear launch code.

This does, of course, beg the question why have a ‘reply all’ button in the first place? Isn’t it just an accident waiting to happen, like Boris Johnson’s cerebral cortex? Explained one scientist: ‘It’s the electronic equivalent of a wet paint sign. People can’t help but press it. It’s the opposite of a Pavlov effect. Nobody learns. Press button. Shit hits fan. Press button again’.

The upside is that many legendary secrets have now be revealed through email; such as Aliens at Roswell, KFC’s secret recipe and how James Corden keeps getting employed? The only time that the ‘reply all’ function is never used is when it includes office information you genuinely need to know like – Whose turn it is to buy milk? Do spreadsheets matter? What is your actual job?

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Posted: Feb 16th, 2019 by

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