‘If only we had a centrist pro-EU party’ says Vince Cable

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As rumours circulate that disgruntled Labour MPs are set to form their own ‘moderate’ party, the Liberal Democrats have been forced to remind the public that they actually still exist. A spokeswoman clarified: ‘Reports of the Lib Dem’s death has been greatly exaggerated…just not by much’.

‘Naturally we are concerned. One party has a clearly defined Lib Dem policy on Europe, a Lib Dem policy on the economy and a Lib Dem policy on foreign wars. Unfortunately the other party is the Lib Dems.’

Online suggestions for the new party’s name vary from ‘The Blair Rich Project’, ‘Stuck in the middle with you’ to ‘Blandy McBlandface’. Although JK Rowling is said to favour – ‘Chuka Plotter and the Prisoner of Socialism’.

Concerned that they might split the 8% centrist vote, Vince Cable now has the difficult task of convincing voters that the Lib Dems are still a vibrant and exciting option – without giggling. The spokeswoman said: ‘We have one clear and resolute message to anyone starting a new centrist party – please take us with you’.

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2019 by

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