People up and down the country have been expressing outrage at the decision of the Department of Work and Pensions to pass yogurt-brained, failed media executive Chris Grayling as fit for office.
‘I had an uncle like him once’, said a tearful pensioner from Worthing. ‘I remember asking him to turn on the lights and he ended up cutting his foot off. Anyway, for his own safety – and everyone else’s, he was kept away from sharp objects from then on.’
Chris Grayling originally landed a job in the government accidentally when he incorrectly filled out a form to be a translator at the Chinese embassy – a job he felt he was perfectly qualified for because of his O’ level French. Since then he has gained a reputation for incompetence and idiocy, which has made him hard to distinguish in the current Conservative government.
As Psions minister he took charge of all hand-held computers from the 1990s, unaware that he was in fact supposed to be ‘Prisons Minister’. He then moved to the Department of Transport when he was wandering down a corridor looking for a vending machine. A senior civil servant in the Department of Transport explained the situation; ‘When Grayling first arrived in this department he was appraised and given the position of ‘traffic cone’, unfortunately, he went through the wrong door and ended up as a minister of state. Actually, traffic cone is probably above his pay grade.’