34-year-old Claire Brown admits her British ‘street food’ truck is just a tarted-up burger van.
Claire said, “I was just selling greasy burgers when two blokes in un-necessarily low-cut t-shirts and no socks said I could make a killing if I just ‘re-branded.’ I personally thought British street food was a discarded Greggs pasty, but I thought I’d give it a go. I converted a 60’s prison van, gave it a suggestively naff name, ‘Burger my buns,’ and created ‘artisan’ menus on parchment without any pound signs next to the prices.”
She continued, “I replaced baps with weird sweet rolls, put defrosted burgers in a tumble drier for the ‘rustic’ look and cooked chips – sorry, fries – twice, for some reason. I served it all on compostable miniature bin lids.”
“It was fine until some bloke asked for sweet potato fries. I thought, who the f**k eats sweet chips, sorry fries? Anyway, I started pouring sugar on his chips – ahhh, fries! – when the waistcoat wearing t**t kicked off. Turns out he was some ‘food truck authenticity’ inspector.”
“To be honest I’m glad it’s just a burger van again so I don’t have to listen to posh w***ers asking for aioli, whatever that is.”