In a rush to embrace new technology, Health Secretary Matt Hancock has pledged to remove the use of semaphore from the NHS by 2021. ‘The cost of replacing flags has risen sharply over the last few years, and the laundry bill is astronomical,’ he said. Supporters of the technology point out that there is a need for hygiene to be maintained on all NHS communication devices and insist that semaphore is discreet, quiet and virtually unhackable.
‘Who ever heard of ransomware being communicated by semaphore?’ asked a technology expert waving two oversize flags. It is now reported that the NHS will buy into the telegraph technology to modernise. ‘The electrical signalling system, not the newspaper,’ pointed out Hancock, ‘that would be like living in the past.’